EXPECTATIONS

For humans, the basis of our any relationship is nothing but the EXPECTATIONS. 
What kind of husband you expect?
What kind of wife you expect?
What is expected out of your kids? so on and so forth.

And we too, intentionally or unintentionally are able to love only those who fulfil or nearly fulfil our expectations. (For true or unconditional love is too rare as it does not have any space for EXPECTATIONS).

Practically, in today's world, there would hardly be any being who has achieved a ZERO-STATE OF EXPECTATIONS.

However, expectations are destined to be shattered or broken as these are what we give rise to. These are pure reflections of our longings and needs which take birth in conscious or subconscious levels of our minds. Then, this is being reflexively imposed on another person in any relationship. And since the other person is not GOD or a saint to be able to recognize these, the majority of times, the end result is unfulfillment of expectations and hence frustrations.

One more reality of expectations is that no matter how much another person tries to live up to these, he won't be able to do it completely because expectations are immortal.
These can change their shape and form, be reduced in the intensity and frequency but the amplitude of expectations is everlasting.

I have heard people preaching the lessons of "Do not expect anything in a relationship". Really! I mean how in this world for a normal human being, is this statement valid? 
There are expectations in any sort of relationship. According to me, no matter how hard we try, we tend to expect or rather we should expect because having expectations and fulfilling each other's expectations is one of the binding forces of any relationship.

The problem does not lie in having expectations from someone in a relationship, rather it is an unacceptance of the situation where the other is not able to fulfil it as it is something beyond his capacity or nature. It is when we become the slave of expectations and are unwilling to accepting the way the other person is. Hence we should understand that the universe not gonna change for us we need to adapt to it for our peace of mind.


We all are so different having the varied mindset and different streaks of nature and personality. Sometimes we are good to go along with each other and other times we do face conflicts and clashes. We always want another person to be able to understand and fulfil what is being expected out of him and when this falls short, the frustrations arise. And when a series of these events happen, we feel hurt and remorseful and in worst cases, call off the relationship.

Unfulfilled expectations give rise to STRUGGLE.

The relationship which once based on love and expectations now lies on the foundation of struggle.

The struggle of being with a person who doesn't live up to our expectations

The struggle of living with poles apart of mindset and ideology.

The struggle of forced and conditioned attachments.

And then, we tend to maintain distance with such a person by forgetting or overlooking the other dimensions of his/her personality.


The only way out is: Do not make EXPECTATIONS (or fulfilment of it) a basis of your relationship ever.

Do not fear the expectations, have it fearlessly in a relationship but never make it the only basis of nurturing your relationship with. Do not make the fulfilment of expectations the only criterion of a healthy relationship.

 Also, do not be harsh on yourself by constantly seeking a hypothetical space or situation of a ZERO-STATE OF EXPECTATIONS as I would be impractical to advocate that.
Understand that trying to achieve this state, is an altogether unrealistic expectation of its own kind.

Remember, seawater is not expected to quench the thirst yet it is important to behold numerous species and is home to a million precious elements, corals, pearls, etc.
And as the polluted water can't be put to any use but it can still be used to extinguish a fire, similarly, every relationship in our lives holds significance.

Thus, only because of the other person's inability to suffice your expectations, in no way makes him unworthy to various other better things he is capable of.

I am sure if we ask others, there might be many instances where we couldn't have lived up to their expectations, yet they love us and respect us for how we have been with them in a journey called LIFE.

SO BE A BETTER PERSON AND RISE (ALSO LET OTHERS RISE) ABOVE ALL EXPECTATIONS.

XOXO!