ThE_PhOEniX_sOuL

Thursday, March 7, 2019

SELF-RESPECT versus EGO

Many of us have heard that self-respect and ego have a very thin line difference. And it is important to strike a balance so that one shouldn't appear to be an egoist.
But I totally disagree the above said as I believe that both these terms are antonyms and stand poles apart.
One is an independent entity while other is people dependent.
In my opinion, EGO is like a shadow which doesn't have any identity while SELF-RESPECT is like a source of light that enlightens one's soul. And as the shadow disappears in the dark, similarly in the low times of your life when there's no one to appreciate you, your ego gets shattered and you tend to feel doom and gloom.

An egoist would always want others to appreciate him, to acknowledge his work, to get lauded for his achievements so as to suffice his desire for superiority but deep down he feels hollow when there's nobody to do so and especially when he is alone. That is the time when your self-respect plays a role. A person with self-respect doesn't want anyone to sing a rhyme of his achievements to feel contented. He feels fulfilled in his very own shell because his core is strengthened by the strong values.
Self-respect renders you with utmost self-sufficiency and it further gives the person a sense of calmness and stability of mind, whereas a person with ego trips easily gets annoyed and irritated when he doesn't receive the required attention.

Ego is borne out of fear and insecurity. Fear of losing one's stand in the society, getting depreciated by others, a decline in the powers & authority, decrease in domination over others and so on & so forth; while none of the mentioned factors contributes to constitute the self-respect.
Self-respect is achieved by self-realization i.e. when you know who you are and what you deserve. Nobody in this world can tell you your worth. And if you seek others to let u know what you are worthy for then there is no achievement of self-respect rather the building of ego. What if someday these people stop respecting you and start degrading you, would you stop respecting yourself too??
That is the difference between the two. You don't need others to give you respect so then only you respect yourself. Also, you don't need to have unusual talents and vivacious personality for that matter as well. It is a self-liking attribute one has for the way he has always been and would be throughout his 'being', no matter what others think or the way they judge him.

When you are pissed off from somebody and say, " You have hurt my self-respect ", it's a vague sentence as it is actually your ego getting hurt because it is the universal fact that we all have the ego, only the intensity and frequency differ. As in reality, nobody can hurt your self-respect because technically you are its controller and reserve all rights pertaining to it.

However, nowadays it has become essential to have EGO especially in the corporate world, as I have observed, people are scared of such person so that they don't mess it all, somehow hurt him and lose their positions in his good book. This, in turn, increases his ego to the next level.

According to me, Self-respect is above all. It paves way for one to be self-assured and self- dependent. This, in turn, increases the self-confidence which inculcates the self-trust within.
And such a person is self-motivated and self-driven. He doesn't require any second person to motivate or demotivate him. He knows his virtues as well as vices.
Whereas, if we talk about EGO, it is also a driving force, as many people who are ego-driven strives too hard to do anything it takes for them to reach the heights they desire for. And many do achieve the fruits of success as well. But once the ego gets shattered due to rejections, failures, insults, losses, etc., it becomes very hard for such people to gather the broken pieces of their marred ego.
Egoist person can't stand the defeats and collapses soon as he starts thinking about others and their opinions for him while a person with self-respect is irrespective of others' thought process and remains stable as he is confident enough to rise from the ashes.

So in the long run, it is the SELF-RESPECT that sustains as it is independent of others and you all know, respect can never be begged for, it is earned. You cannot control others' behaviour and the way they judge you in every way of life.
In this materialistic world people change as per their conveniences and so their way of giving respect to you, so why to give them that authority to make or break you by keeping tonnes of ego within yourself, shed it guys, life is way more beautiful than these superfluous ego trips ...........

HOW do YOU know if its a right DECISION ........

Dr.Shruti Sharma

Well, we all know one thing for sure that a good life is what comes as a result of successive right decisions one takes in his lifetime. Every moment of life, no matter how big or small, is a decisive one, the subjects keep on changing. A decision taken, not only influences today but tomorrow; not only you but people around you; and sometimes affects generations yet to arrive. Whenever there is a conflict, internal or external, that very time becomes wartime and the mind, struggling to make the right choice or decision, becomes a battlefield. And in a majority of the times, one ends in making a decision which is not a solution to the situation rather an illusory peace of mind. Now, this RIGHT DECISION is something very subjective i.e a decision taken which is right for one may not seem to be a wiser one for another.
So how to know whether the decision taken is actually right or not.

Before analyzing the outcome, why not let's throw light on the process of decision making?

A good decision making should never be based on one's feelings, especially during extreme emotions (elation or grief) as these are temporary but the decision taken concerns with permanence.

A decision taken in peace is always fruitful than the one taken just for the peace of mind.

One should analyse the impact of a decision as a whole and it is thus, becomes essential to give as much time to decision making as the degree of that impact holds in one's life.

Also, never overthink or over- analyse as it ultimately leads to weak decision making. Once decided, no more procrastination, go ahead with it.

Any bias in regard to decision making such as anger, jealousy, conflict, attachments, etc. often results in a wrong decision.

A good decision not only focuses on the results it would fetch with time but also takes, the journey to reach that goal, into consideration as well.

A right decision can never be completely selfish or selfless, its a proper blend of both with a pinch of goodness for the people who matter to you and the ones you love.

Never give others the authority to make decisions for you or influence you in the process of decision making as they would not bear the fruits of its outcome. They would not walk along with you on your life path.

Make your close ones and elders part of your decision making as right counselling widens your horizon and leads to right decision mostly.

In difficult times, we usually rely on others to give us sound advice and we should even listen to them too but solely depending on others for one's own decision should be avoided. How can u lead a life which is purely a vision of another person's mind?

Also, it's so often seen that you usually accept the advice of the person whose personality and thought process gel well with your own, and never follow the advice of one who seems to be speaking against you even if the person is right.

So ultimately its YOU only who is making the decision.
Then why we need someone to be there to influence us? It is because we are afraid of the fate of the decision taken by us and we constantly require someone to put the blames on if at all it fails.
But it is also not so uncommon that we often don't appreciate others if the decision succeeds.

A right decision mostly requires a CHANGE. As it is correctly said, CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT.
So never be afraid of changes in your life. Never stop yourself to conclude a decision if it requires a change.
Don't fear the uncertainties of the risk involved in the decision as these have always been the part of your life and would always be. Unpredictability usually has its own fun!!
Have the courage to trust yourself and your gut. As I believe that whenever you do anything whether good or bad, your conscious always tell you from within if it is just or not, then it's up to you what you choose over what.

So come on and start making decisions for yourself without getting influenced and stand by it, for stronger minds always take responsibility for their decisions, fair or unfair. And you will observe how much priceless the fruits would be, no matter if justified or not, but it would be your decision, your experience and your destiny. And this is what life revolves around, making decisions and living with it. Whether cherished or repented for, it totally depends on the choices you make and the perception you hold.

So, A right decision would be the one that expands your life, your future and most important, expands YOU as a person, even though it may appear terrifying and difficult to pursue, it is worth fighting for and hence, don't worry, just go with it !!